Hey, Man

Posted by on Jun 9, 2012 in Blog, Unrelated | No Comments

I recently started a new job. It’s cool because we’ve got a gym on the first floor. It’s small, but nice. It has a locker room, showers — everything. This is perfect for me, because now I can work out while I wait for traffic to die down.

The other day, I was walking to the restroom and the janitor was there, blocking the door way with his cart behind him. He looks me up and down with a scrutinizing look as if to determine if I were fit to enter the restroom. He finally lets out a sigh and says: “Nah, dawg. Can’t let you in here.”

Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize the restroom doubled as a nightclub in the mid-afternoon. That’s fine. I decided that I’d just go downstairs to the gym and use the one in the locker room.

I get there, and there’s a dude standing there.

He’s butt-ass naked.

Really casually, like he wasn’t naked at all, looks at me and goes: “…Hey, man.”

DON’T “HEY, MAN” ME. PUT SOME GODDAMN CLOTHES ON. YOU’RE A CO-WORKER OF MINE, I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU NAKED.

At least…that’s what I wanted to say. Instead, I made a beeline to the urinal and proceeded to use it in awkward silence, while he went about getting dressed.

Now every time I see him in the hall way, all I can say is: “H…hey, man.” and try my hardest not to picture his wrinkled sack, hanging two inches above his knees.

I actually told my buddy this story, and he had the audacity to tell me: “You shoulda known better than to go in there.”

Oh, for real?

How about…who the hell takes a shower at 1:30 in the afternoon?

On a Tuesday?

…while at work?

As far as I’m concerned, he’s basically walking around the work place naked.

Another friend suggested that maybe he was homeless and that he doesn’t have a home. Okay, sure.

Well, apparently he doesn’t have clothes either.

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